Switch
by Milo1
Summary: A story of what happens when Duo Dorothy Hilde and Relena switch bodies. Not your normal fic. WARNING CHAOS AHEAD!


SWITCH 

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or any of these characters...or anything else for that matter...

Chapter 1: The Dullest Day of the Year...or Is It (Day 1) 

Relena sat at her desk staring blankly at the paperwork piled in front of her and sighed, it was a beautiful day and she was stuck inside with nothing to do except read and sign documents. Her head ached when she thought of the banquet she was supposed to be hosting in a few days (remember that the party it's important later). She hated hosting parties with a bunch of old men who loved to talk politics. As she sat staring at the bill for the new painting for the ceiling banquet hall when the doors burst open and Duo stepped in followed by Hilde both wearing impossibly wide smiles.

"Relena how's my favorite princess?" Duo said happily.

"Duo! Hilde! Oh my gosh when did you two get here?!"

"A few hours ago, Duo and I were kinda bored and since we hadn't seen you in a while we figured we'd drop by." Answered Hilde. 

"I'm glad I'm not the only one suffering from the incredibly bored syndrome."

Before anyone could say anything else Dorothy walked in with more papers for Relena to go over, she set them down on her desk and turned to walk out when she noticed the guests.

"Oh hello Hilde...Maxwell." She said Duo's name with more than a hint of disgust.

"Hi Catsy." Duo said grinning.

Dorothy glared at him, "Don't call me that."

"Well then don't call me Maxwell."

"Hey come on can't you two get along?" asked Relena.

"NO!" Duo and Dorothy shouted in unison.

"So Hilde what do you want to do today?" Relena said in an attempt to change the subject.

"Well actually we really hadn't thought of what we'd do once we got here."

"I think we should snoop around here I'm sure there's something interesting to do." Said Duo.

"Well I don't know."

"Well come on what could it hurt just to walk around a bit give us all time to catch up." Duo said.

Relena shrugged, "What the hell."

"Miss Relena you aren't honestly going to go with these two are you?"

"Yes Dorothy, I am they're my friends you can come too if you like."

"What?! And have to be next pathetic excuse for a Gundam Pilot?! Why not I don't have anything better to do." Sneered Dorothy.

"Hey what do you mean pathetic?!!" Duo growled.

Hilde took his arm, "Come on Duo don't worry about her."

With that settled the group walked out the door and headed walked down the hall headed nowhere in particular. Twenty minutes later they came across a bunch of guards surrounding a couple of large doors this sparked Duo's interest.

"Hey, What's with all the security?" he asked.

"Oh that's the laboratory, they're working on some sort of machine. The whole thing is very hush, hush I'm not even allowed in. Miss Noin and my brother even had a meeting with me to tell me that `I am never under any circumstance to go in there.' " 

"Wanna go in?" Duo asked with a mischievous smile.

"Yes I do but it would get me into A LOT of trouble not to mention what might happen if you guys get caught."

"So we just won't get caught." Hilde said.

"We really shouldn't."

"That's what makes it fun." Said Duo.

"If Miss Relena thinks we shouldn't we won't." Dorothy snapped.

"Oh shut up Catsy."

"Maxwell you are really pushing your luck."

"Oooooooo I'm sooooooo scared."

"Hey you two cool it." Relena interrupted.

"Well I'm going come if you want to." Duo said and walked off to find an unguarded entrance.Hilde took off after him followed by Relena, Dorothy growled angrily and caught up with the others. 

They had crawled into the lab. through an air vent that Duo found, and once inside they began to search for something that might prove interesting to mess with. After a couple of minutes Hilde came across what looked like one of those portable bathrooms used at construction sites hidden in the darkest corner of the room.

"Bingo." She said with a smile.

"What did you find?" asked Duo.

"I have no idea." she answered.

Dorothy, Duo, and Relena made there way over to Hilde and looked at the machine.

"It looks like a Port-a-potty." Said Duo.

"I think this is it! I wonder what it does. Why didn't someone tell me about this thing earlier?" asked Relena.

"Maybe because the people who built it wanted to use it against you Miss Relena." Dorothy said.

"Can you ever say anything nice to anyone?" Duo asked.

"Shut up Maxwell!" 

"Guess not."

By this time Hilde and Relena had already stepped in and were messing with the controls, once Dorothy and Duo stopped arguing they stepped in as well it was rather cramped but the group didn't seen to mind. 

"I found something it looks like a journal." Said Hilde.

"Lemme see." Duo said as he snatched the book from Hilde's grip, he quickly flipped through the pages looking for something that might tell what the machine did but it was mostly drawings of its insides. Then on the last page he found a rather interesting entry, "Hey guys listen to this it says `tests prove machine works but effects only last five days changing the fuel source may be the answer to this problem'."

"What does that mean? What effects?" Dorothy asked.

"I neither know or care." Duo replied.

"I think this green button starts it." Relena said.

"Is this thing really safe? I mean what if it makes us radioactive or somethin'?" Hilde asked.

"Who cares." Said Duo as he hit the green button.

The door snapped shut there was a bang, some smoke, and a white flash, then the door opened and the machine shut down. Duo was the first one out, coughing, and waving the smelly smoke out of his face. 

Cautiously he looked around looking for some sign that the machine had done something, but found nothing out of place.

"Well I guess it doesn't work." He said.

Suddenly there were screams of fear coming from behind him, he spun around to find Hilde unconscious on the ground and Relena staring at her in shock.

"What happened?" he asked, and as he did he heard another scream a male scream he looked over only to find he was looking at himself. "What the hell?" then slapped his hand over his mouth, "I sound like..."

Duo looked down and was shocked to find he was wearing a dress and had blonde hair that went down to his knees, and the really big shocker was that he had breast. "Holy hell!!!"

"Duo your in my body!" gasped Dorothy.

"And Relena's in mine." Said a dazed Hilde.

Duo thought he was going to join Relena in the land of the unconscious, Dorothy knelt down by Hilde's body AKA Relena and gently shook her awake.

"Miss Relena, Miss Relena wake up!"

"Duo since when have you called me Miss?"

"No it's me Dorothy."

Relena looked like she was going to loose consciousness again, "You're kidding."

"I wish." 

"And what is THAT supposed to mean?!" Duo snapped.

"I think we should get back in and see if this thing reverses this." said Relena.

"Can't the machined broken," said Dorothy pointing to the exposed and broken wires from the machine, "thanks to a certain braid brain!"

"Well now that would be you wouldn't it?" said Duo with a cheeky smile.

Dorothy mentally kicked herself, "My point is this whole things your fault Maxwell!"

"Look let get out of here before we get caught and discuss this like rational people." Said Hilde.

"She's right lets go." Said Duo.

Slowly the group made there was past the guards, snuck out the way they came in and made there way to Relena's bedroom. Once they were inside Duo locked the door and faced the others Hilde sat slumped in a chair, Relena was sitting on the bed next to Dorothy who was looking over her new body with disgust.

"Ok so what do we do now?" Duo asked no one in particular.

"Why don't we tell someone like Zechs or Noin?" asked Hilde.

"No we can't what we're going through will be nothing compared to what will happen if they find out we snuck into a restricted area." Said Relena.

"But what if this is permanent?!!" Dorothy screeched.

"It's not the journal said so, I say we wait five days let the affects wear off and pretend like it never happened. Agreed?" Duo said, the others mumbled their acceptance of his plan, "Good then it's settled."

"What are you talking about! I'm in YOUR body!!"

"Like that's such a bad thing! I'm the one who should be upset I have to play ant-girl for the next five days!"

"ANT-GIRL?!!!!"

"Come on guys let's not fight we need to stick together we're a team now and there's no 'I' in team." Stated Relena.

"There's no 'us' in team either so why should we bother?" Duo shot back.

"Come on guys Relena's right let's not fight and just try to get along alright?" said Hilde.

"Sure." said Dorothy.

"Yeah fine whatever." Grumbled Duo.

"One problem...I have to go to the bathroom." Said Dorothy.

"Aaaaand?"

"I am not holding it."

"So go to the bathroom."

"Duo I thinks the means she aint touchin your privates." Hilde said.

"Oh that is a problem. Well I'll go with you."

Dorothy stiffened at the thought, "I don't think I could stomach the sight of my body touching yours."

"Well what do you want me to do?!"

Dorothy rolled her eyes, "I'll get some rubber gloves or something." Then walked out of the room.

Duo followed, "And no playing with it!" he shouted after her.

While he was off shouting his `handle with care' instructions at Dorothy, Relena and Hilde stayed behind and looked at each other.

"This is going to be a hard five days." Hilde said.

"Hilde don't slouch you have to pretend to be me so act right."

She sighed quite annoyed and did as she was told, and then she felt something, quizzically she reached down her shirt and pulled out a picture of a shirtless Heero working on his Gundam.

"Oh my what have we here?"

Relena blushed and dove for the picture but Hilde jumped out of the chair just in time to avoid the attack. Relena made another desperate grab for the picture and successfully retrieved it tucking it away in her shirt. 

"Hey don't put that in my shirt!" Hilde yelled as she tackled Relena and attempted to remove the photo. 

At that moment Duo walked in and saw Hilde on top of Relena trying to get her hand down the other girl's shirt, "Um guys what are you doing?"

"Oh Dorothy...I mean Duo she's got this picture of Heero down my shirt and I'm trying to get it out." Said Hilde never breaking her hold on Relena.

Relena shoved Hilde with all of her might and sent her flying across the room, "Wow Hilde your body is strong!" 

Hilde got up gasping for air, "Tell me about it." She wheezed.

"Look Relena let me take the picture and when things are back to normal I'll return it that way everyone's happy." Duo said.

Relena thought about it and handed Duo the picture, "Here."

Duo took it and looked it over, "Whoa! Relena you naughty girl!"

"Duo!"

"Sorry." He said and stuck it in his pocket.

It was dinner time and everyone met in the Dinning room to eat (of course) Relena sat across from Hilde, Duo sat across from Dorothy Noin was across from Zechs and things went smoothly until Dorothy noticed Duo's eating habits.

"Duo chew with your mouth closed." Dorothy whispered.

He didn't acknowledge the fact she spoke and kept on stuffing his (technically her) mouth and smacking the whole time.

"Maxwell stop it." She growled.

Duo stopped eating and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, "Wha'd you say?"

Dorothy cringed at that then leaned forward to keep anyone else from hearing, "You are supposed to be me and I don't eat like that nor do I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and I never say things like `Wha'd you say.' "

"Oops sorry." He resumed eating in a semi-civilized manner.

Dorothy looked around to see if anyone had noticed that little scene, luckily Zechs and Noin were too busy talking to each other so they hadn't noticed. 

Duo and Relena finished their meals and excused themselves, that left Dorothy and Hilde together. 

Hilde was staring at her food pondering her predicament when she heard someone say something, "Sorry what?"

"I said," Dorothy repeated, "I don't think I'm going to be able to make it I think we should just tell them what we did now." She gestured to Zechs and Noin as she spoke.

"Now way! Besides what makes you think that they will believe us?"

"They probably know about that machine and what it does so they should understand."

"Well I think we should wait it out like Duo said."

"Do you always do what he says?"

"No but in this situation I think it would be wise to just wait and see."

"Easy for you to say at least you still have a girls body."

"Well look at the bright side you do have the sexiest male body on the planet."

"I would appreciate it if you would not refer to this body as sexy until I'm out of it."

After dinner Dorothy walked into her room forgetting that she had switched with Duo, and found him sitting on the bed staring down his nightgown.

"HEY!!!" she shouted catching him completely off guard.

"AHHH!!!" he screamed and fell off the bed.

"Just what do you thing you are doing?!!" 

"Uh, I dropped a penny down my shirt and I was looking for it." 

"You were not you pervert!!"

At that moment Relena and Hilde raced in to see what all the screaming was about, "What's ...going...on?" asked Hilde completely winded from the run down the hall.

"That sick bastard was staring down my shirt!!" fumed Dorothy.

"Ewwww that IS sick." Mumbled Hilde.

"Well technically it's my shirt." said Duo.

Dorothy stormed over to Duo and shoved him off the bed, he jumped up and dove on the other side of the bed trying to keep something between him and the angry woman in his body. With a shout of rage Dorothy flew across the bed and pinned Duo on the floor.

"Aaahhh! Catsy remember you're only hurting yourself!" he squealed.

"You are so lucky you're in my body Maxwell!"

"I know you're a C cup."

"YOU DIRTY LITTLE PISSANT!!!!"

"Duo behave and Dorothy calm down." Relena instructed, "Look we won't make it if we can't cooperate with each other."

"If he'd stop staring at my breasts I might be able to act civil!" Dorothy growled.

"Ok well it's over now, right Duo?" Relena said.

"Yup I'm all done."

"Great, so now we can all go to bed." She concluded.

"There is no way that I am going to leave him alone with my body." Said Dorothy.

Relena sighed, "Alright then you and Duo share the room."

"What?! Me share a room with this loudmouthed American prick?!" she snapped.

"HEY! That was uncalled for!" 

"Well what do you suggest?"

Dorothy pondered this for a moment, "Fine I'll do it."

"Then it's settled I'll bring you some of Duo's clothes since I think someone needs to watch him." Said Relena.

With that the two girls left, Relena returned shortly with some nightclothes for Dorothy and left again. When she was gone Dorothy stepped into the bathroom to change, while she was in there she stared at her new body in the mirror and decided that the braid had to go. She slowly unfastened the tie and undid the braid, once undone Duo's hair was quite beautiful.

"I almost feel like a girl again." She giggled to herself.

When she came out of the bathroom she was surprised to see Duo sitting at the nightstand staring at himself and she noticed he had braided her hair. She shrugged the scene off turned off the light and got into bed. Duo was quite annoyed she had just turned off the lights without even warning him so with a sigh he got up and joined Dorothy in the bed. All was peaceful until Duo got bored, since he wasn't really tired, and started humming American Badass.

"Cut that out Maxwell." Dorothy commanded.

"No, humming puts me to sleep and you were the one who wanted to sleep in here so you have to deal with my sleeping habits." He replied then continued humming.

"I said stop and I meant stop."

"Make me."

Dorothy growled, turned over, and put a pillow over her head to drown out Duo's constant humming. She was almost asleep until he started to sing outright.

"Maxwell!!!"

"What?"

"Shut up!!!!"

"Jeeze it's late don't yell s'loud."

"Then SHUT UP!!"

"OK OK."

20 seconds later "I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady and all you other Shady's are just imitating."

"MAXWELL!!!!!!"

"Alright, I'll stop."

Chapter 2: The Meeting (Day 2)

"Miss Relena...Miss Relena."

Hilde stirred in her sleep and mumbled, "Stop calling me that."

"Miss Relena wake up you have a meeting to attend."

Hilde opened her eyes to see Noin standing above her trying to get her up, "Oh hi can I have just five more minutes I didn't get much sleep last night?"

"I'm sorry I know this is last minute but we have one very eager man waiting in the conference room, his name's Microft. He wants to form an alliance with us and to use our military force as well. What about the word Pacifism doesn't he understand I will never know. This guy is bad news so and be sure to let him down easily he's an easy man to anger."

As she spoke she guided Hilde to the closet and picked out a nice dress and shoes for her to wear, then handed it to her.

"Um Miss Noin is their any way we could just tell them I'm sick and can't have visitors?"

"I wish." She laughed then walked to the door, "Hurry up and change and meet us in the conference room A.S.A.P. that means now." with that she left.

Hilde dressed as quickly as she could then raced into the meeting room trying not to be late, when she arrived she felt she would faint; the room had one large table that had about 50 or more people sitting and looking at her. `There's no way in hell I'm going to get away with this.' She thought. She was relieved to see Relena, Dorothy, and Duo sitting near her seat, she smiled and took her seat across from Relena. The second she did a man in a navy blue and maroon uniform stood.

"Miss Peacecraft I am sorry for this early meeting but I must meet with you to discuss matters of the up most importance, I have invited some members of my council to give you the details on a few issues but what I want to discuss now..."

From that point on Hilde didn't hear a word he said, she had learned a few things living with the worlds biggest chatter box, like how to sleep with her eyes open (I can do that you know) so she leaned back against her chair and dozed off.

Relena hadn't noticed Hilde wasn't paying attention until she took a glance in her direction and almost screamed. Hilde aka Relena was leaning back in her chair eyes open but rolled up in her head so only the white part was showing and drool was flowing from her gaping mouth into a nice sized puddle on the floor; she looked like a zombie. Relena looked around to see if anyone else noticed, luckily everyone was listening to an accountant giving a speech about how helping them would benefit both countries financially. She quietly ripped a small piece of paper from the clipboard that was placed in front of her balled it up and plucked it at Hilde, the paper flew across the table and into her mouth, but she didn't wake up. Relena silently cursed and balled up another piece of paper and flicked it at Hilde, this one hit her in the eye and she woke up with a jump, which coincidentally caused her to fall out of her chair with a loud yelp. Dazed Hilde jumped up and looked around and all eyes were on her and she wasn't sure what she should do, at that moment she noticed a string of drool dangling from her mouth she wiped it off on her hand and rubbed her hand clean on her dress. Relena hid her face in her hands, she felt like crying.

"Um I would just like to say." Hilde paused to take a little piece of paper out of her mouth, with a look of confusion she tossed it aside and continued. "I would like to say that I have heard all of your presentations, and I have thought it over. I am afraid I must decline your offer. This nation, believes in Pacifism, and we would be betraying our beliefs if we increased our military power." Hilde smiled to herself `that sounded very Relena-like.' she thought. She looked at Relena for some sort of signal she did good but Relena was busy hitting her head with her clipboard.

The whole room went into an uproar, men yelling and begging her to reconsider Noin stood up and silenced them all, "That is Miss Peacecrafts' decision so the meeting is adjourned." 

With that everyone got up and left all the men gave Hilde death glares on their way out, when they left the only ones left in the room with her were Duo, Dorothy, Relena (still banging her head I might add), 

Noin and Zechs. Duo mouthed `Your in trouble now.'

"What the hell was that?!" asked Zechs.

"I thought I did good." Said Hilde.

"Did good?!! You fell out of your chair drooling, interrupted the mans speech to decline his offer in about the goofiest manner possible!"

"Oh the falling out of the chair thing was just an attention grabber, and I thought we didn't want to be allies with that guy." 

"We don't but you could have been more polite. That was so incredibly rude and disrespectful!"

"Well they came in too early and I was still tired."

"You have a responsibility to this nation to be ready to handle any situation no mater who interrupts your beauty sleep!!"

"Zechs calm down she made a mistake and it's over now." Noin interrupted.

Zechs slammed his chair under the table and stormed out and Noin followed, Hilde just looked around in confusion, "What?!" she shouted.

"You idiot!!!" yelled Relena at this point she had stopped banging her head, "You are such a complete idiot!!"

"Chill out it'll be forgotten in a day or two."

Relena just glared at her jumped up and stormed out just like everyone else Dorothy followed trying not to laugh. 

Duo walked up to Hilde and shrugged, "I thought you did great."

Dorothy had just left Relena's room, after convincing her suicide was not the answer, and she was walking to the room she shared with Duo. She stepped in to find him sitting in front of the vanity mirror holding something that was making a shrill buzzing noise, she walked up beside him careful not to be seen in the mirror and looked at what was in his hand; an electric razor. She was about to turn around and ignore the whole scene, because it was about time her legs were shaved, until she saw him put it to her eyebrows. She dove just in time to knock the razor out of his hand, angrily she yanked a very surprised Duo to his feet.

"What the HELL are you doing?!!"

"Aw come on Catsy the eyebrow thing is drivin' me nuts just let me shave the top one."

"Hell No!!!"

"Pleeeeeease."

"NO!!!!!!"

"Fine be that way but trust me you'll never get married with this kind of facial handicap."

"Maxwell when I get my body back it had better be in the same condition I left it in."

"Um... if...if I just so happened to change something before this uh...warning would you still be mad?"

Dorothy tightened her grip on him, "What did you do?" she growled.

"I think the nice way to put it is your head is now the only part of your body that has hair."

It took her a moment to catch on to what he was trying to say and when she did she was really, really P.O. Before she got a chance to strangle him he wriggled free of her grip and bolted out the door and she was hot on his trail. 

Hilde was walking down the hall when she saw Duo run past laughing like a psychopath and Dorothy on his heals yelling some very unladylike phrases. 

"What are they arguing about now?" she asked herself as she continued down the hall.

Finally she reached her destination; Zechs' room, she wanted to find out if he was still steamed. She opened the door and walked in knowing he wouldn't mind if his `sister' came in unannounced. He was in his room with his back to her and jumped a little when he heard her come in.

"Hi Zechs I just came by to say I'm sorry for what I did this morning and I hope your not still mad."

He stood and faced her with a sweet smile on his face, "I'm sorry I yelled I wasn't really mad at you I was just very frustrated with a something that's going on in my life right now."

"Anything you want to talk about?"

"Not really."

Hilde sat on his bed and patted the space beside her, "Come on I promise it'll make you feel better."

Zechs sighed and sat next to her, "I feel kind of awkward telling you this but...I want to ask Noin to marry me."

"Wow really that's great so what's stopping you?"

"I'm afraid she'll say no."

"Hahahahahahaha *gasp* *wheeze* *cough* Hahahaha, that...that's the funniest thing I've ever heard! Hahahahahahahaha...Oh wait your not kidding." He frowned at her, "OK listen Zechs let me tell you there's not a soul in this kingdom, accept you, that doesn't know that she loves you more than life."

"What?"

"Yes man she is so love sick it makes me wanna puke."

"Are you sure?"

"Am I sure! I'd bet my life on it!"

Zechs smiled and stood up, "Thanks I needed to hear that, uh Relena you won't tell anyone about this will you?"

"No your secrets safe with me, well I gotta go now the others have been at each others throats and they need a referee."

"Alright...and Relena I think you've been hanging around Hilde too long you're starting to talk just like her."

"Oh yeah sorry." With that she walked out and closed the door behind her, "You eeeediot." She growled at herself.

Chapter 3: Bedroom Secrets Revealed

Later that afternoon everything was peaceful once again, Dorothy called a truce with Duo although Relena heard her swear revenge, and Hilde promised never to fall asleep during a meeting again. They were all in the living room, Duo playing battleship with Dorothy and Hilde playing chess with Relena, when Noin walked in.

"Miss Relena you have some guests here to visit you." She announced stepping aside and Quatre, Heero, Trowa and Wufei walked in.

"Well actually we're here on business," said Quatre, "we heard about the meeting with Microft and we were all convinced, after seeing how upset he was, that he might try and include the Sanc Kingdom in a battle it's his style the man's a nut."

"Do you really think so?" asked Hilde.

"Yes he may not have to power to attack this kingdom himself but he does have the power to turn his allies against you, I know about this man and he's hell bent on dragging this kingdom into war one way or the other." Heero answered.

Hilde winced at that, "Crap." She murmured.

Relena glared at her, "Two lousy days in my body and you bring the worlds leading pacifist nation into war!" she growled quietly.

"Well thank you for coming." Hilde said to the newly arrived Gundam pilots. "Come on in and make yourselves comfortable."

Noin said good-bye and left, Quatre greeted everyone with a handshake and a hearty smile Trowa, Wufei, and Heero just sat on the couch and nodded there hellos. Duo and Dorothy moved from their game to sit in two chairs across from the couch. 

"So how have you all been lately?" asked Relena.

"Fine and you?" Replied Quatre.

"I've had better days."

"Let's cut the small talk I want to know what you did to make Microft so mad." Heero said to Hilde.

She grinned sheepishly, "I kinda fell asleep in the middle of his speech and when I woke up I simply dismissed his proposal."

"That was dumb."

"Yeah I know."

Duo shifted uncomfortably in his chair Quatre was staring at him in a more than friendly way and it was making him nervous. 

"Is there anything you would like to do we're open to suggestion?" said Hilde.

"Well we are kind of tired, it was a twelve hour trip, although I hate to come in and just go to sleep on you." Replied Quatre.

"Oh no problem it's already nine and we'll be retiring for the night soon as well." Said Relena.

"OK if you're sure you don't mind."

"No really it's alright, follow me I'll show you to your rooms." Said Hilde and they all got up to show the others their rooms.

Relena knew Hilde had no idea where to place then so she walked ahead of the group and pointed to the doors of the spare rooms as she passed them.

"Quatre you can take this one." Said Hilde as she came to the first door Relena showed her.

Quatre smiled warmly at her and stepped in, as the group moved on he called to Duo quietly.

"Dorothy...Dorothy!" he whispered.

Duo remembered that was supposed to be him and turned around, Quatre signaled him to come in his room so Duo shrugged and went in and since he was supposed to be Dorothy he decided to speak like her as well although it sickened him.

"Yes Quatre-sama."

Quatre sat down on his bed and sighed, "I think we need to talk don't you?"

"About what?"

"About what happened the last time we meet."

"I don't know what you mean."

"Come on Dorothy don't try and tell me what happened between us mean nothing to you!"

Duo was beginning to understand what he was saying, and took a complete shot in the dark with his next statement, and by blind luck hit the bullseye "You mean when we made love in your Gundam?"

"Yes what do you think I meant?!"

He now had Duo's full and undivided attention, "Yes well of course it mean something to me, I thought you knew that."

"Well when you were gone in the morning I...I thought you had just used me."

"I was afraid of committing then but now I'm not, and I want us to be together." Said Duo in his most sincere voice trying not to laugh at the nice little surprise he was leaving Dorothy for when everything returned to normal, or the thought of Dorothy and Quatre gittin giggy inside Sandrock.

"I'm so glad to hear you say that," he sighed, then an evil grin spread across his face, "by the way you were great."

"Oh stop your flattery I wasn't all that."

"Yes you were it wasn't me who caused Sandrock to fall over."

Duo managed not to fall out on the floor laughing, "I *sincker* forgot about that."

"Well I didn't, you know I would like for us to be together again." He said giving him a sexy grin.

"I would love to but you see I do have this engagement in a little bit and..."

Before he could finish Quatre stood up and kissed him. 

Dorothy was in the bedroom changing into a nightshirt when Duo flew in ran into the bathroom and threw up in the toilet bowl, she went in after him to see what was wrong.

"What happened?"

"Don't ask."

"Too late Maxwell what happened?"

"I ate some bad tuna."

"You don't like tuna."

"Now you see why."

"Fine keep secrets but if this has any permanent affects my body..."

"I know your going to nuder me the hard way."

"Correct." With that she left Duo in the bathroom over the toilet bowl. "And don't dunk my hair in the water!" she snapped over her shoulder.

Duo flipped her the finger and got up to look for some Listerine, "You going to bed early?" he asked once he found the breath freshener.

"Yes I'm tired from trying run you down all day."

"You know we shouldn't fight so much I mean if anything we should be best friends." He said right before he started gargling.

"Why do you say that?"

He spat out the mint and vomit smelling fluid before he continued, "I mean you'd think war girl would naturally want to be friends with the god of Death." He then poured half a tube of toothpaste in his mouth and proceeded to scrub his teeth with his toothbrush and winced when he realized it wasn't his mouth.

"You have a point Maxwell but I can't stand you...at all."

"W'l eshuse he for twhyin' sho be fawiendwy." He said with a mouth full of toothpaste.

"What?"

Duo spat it out and repeated himself, "I said, Well excuse me for trying to be friendly."

Dorothy ignored him and climbed into bed, "Good night and stay out of trouble."

"And stay out of trouble." Duo mocked to himself in the mirror.

After sending the boys to bed Relena and Hilde resumed their game of chess when Heero came in.

"Relena may I speak with you a moment?" he asked in a more serious voice than usual (if that's possible).

Hilde gave Relena a questioning look, and she gave her the OK signal, got up and left. Heero watched her leave and once the door was closed he sat in her chair and lowered his head.

"I know your going to hate me for this but I have to tell you because it's been bugging me for the longest time and I feel that if I tell you it wont...make me feel so guilty."

"What happened?"

He paused for a moment, "I...I had an affair with Noin, I mean it was a long time ago when we were on Peacemillion and it didn't mean anything I swear." Heero confessed.

Hilde was only able to sit with her mouth handing open a number of questions were running through her mind like; since when were Relena and Heero a couple? How the hell had he gotten Noin to sleep with him? Would he tell Zechs?

"Does Zechs know?"

"Hell no he'd skin me alive!"

"Well, I heard that he was going to ask Noin to marry him, and I think she might want to get this out in the open."

Heero completely flushed and stood up slowly, "I think I need to have a word with her." He said then bolted for the door, suddenly he skidded to a stop, "Wait a minute doesn't this bother you at all?"

"Hey, it happened a long time ago can't dwell in the past." Hilde said.

Heero nodded and ran to the door once again, and again he stopped because Duo had burst in and smacked him in the face with the door sending the other boy crashing into the floor.

"Watch where you're going, woman!"

"Who are you callin a woman?!" Duo snapped then covered his mouth when he realized his mistake, "I mean sorry, hehehe."

Heero stood up slowly and slid cautiously past him then ran down the hall.

"Idiot!!" yelled Relena as she walked back in, "I told you not to go in, I knew you would do something stupid!"

"What so I'm not used to being called a woman excuuuuse me!"

Relena rolled her eyes and raced to Hilde's side, "So what did he say?!"

Hilde raised an eyebrow, "How long have you two been together?"

"Oh shit he told you?"

"In so many words."

"Whoa! You and Heero are a couple?" Duo asked.

"Yeah." Relena said blushing.

"Man oh man Heero's gonna flip when he finds out I know!"

"You can't tell him or he'll think Relena told and that might jeopardize their relationship." Said Hilde.

"Awwwww I can't believe this! Oh well at least I got somethin' on Quatre." Duo grinned.

"What?"

"Nuthin'."

"Anyway!" Relena interrupted, "What did he say?"

"Were you two an official couple when you were on Libra?"

"No why?"

"Good cause it won't count as an affair."

Relena cast and incredibly angry glance at Duo.

Duo looked back at her in confusion "What...you think...me and him...that I would...EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

"No Relena not Duo...um...Noin."

"WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Duo and Relena shouted in unison.

"They both musta been REALY lonely up on Peacemillion cause they got alittle freaky."

Duo burst out laughing while Relena, for the second time in two days, passed out.

(Day 3)

Duo leaned over to Hilde who was happily eating her cornflakes and whispered, "I spent all last night tryin to figure it out how they did it and I still can't picture it."

"Picture what?" she asked.

"Noin and Heero I mean isn't he a bit short for her? How did they kiss did he use a foot stool?" Hilde nearly snorted her breakfast out her nose, "But what's really a mystery is was got Quatre and Dorothy together, in a Gundam no less."

Hilde's eyes got wide a saucers, "Are you serious Quatre and Dorothy?!" she whispered.

"Yeah heard it got so wild the whole thing fell over."

She spat milk all over the table, getting everyone's attention, "Sorry just choked on a flake."

Eventually the others just shrugged and went back to there conversations, Hilde spun around to face Duo, "They what?"

"Geeze I hate repeating myself it's bad for my health, I said Dorothy and Quatre got so hyped they knocked the Sandrock over."

"What are you two whispering about?" asked Dorothy.

"What us oh nuthin' " Replied Hilde.

"Nuthin'?" Repeated Noin.

"What I can't use a little slang every now and then?"

Noin just shook her head and continued eating, Hilde looked around the table taking in the scene Trowa was talking with Wufei, Zechs was talking to Noin. Dorothy was talking to Heero in an effort to be like Duo and Heero who was trying to ignore her, Quatre was making goo-goo eyes at Duo and Relena was eating an omelet while staring daggers at Noin who didn't seem to notice. Once again Duo leaned over to Hilde.

"If he don't stop starin at me like that we're gonna have a problem." he said motioning to Quatre

"Be nice remember your supposed to be his lover so at least smile at him."

"Yuck I'm not going to have blonde thinkin I like him."

Hilde rolled her eyes and went back to her meal when one of the servants came in and rang a bell, "Excuse the interruption but it is time for Miss Peacecraft prepare to speak with the press." 

Zechs thanked her and signaled for Hilde to follow as he left with Noin. Relena, Heero, Trowa, Wufei, and Duo got up to follow, Dorothy finished the last of her toast and got up to do the same but Quatre was blocking her path.

"Duo I know what's going on." He said.

"Huh?"

"Between you and Dorothy, I know you two are sharing a room."

"Sooo?"

"So I'm not going to stand by and let you take my woman!" he shouted.

"Relax there's nothing between me and Du.. uh, Dorothy."

"Yeah right," he grabbed her braid and wrapped it around her neck so tightly she couldn't breath; "I challenge you to a duel Duo Maxwell six o'clock in the garden, the winner keeps Dorothy, and don't try and back out either because I will hunt you down." With a shove he dropped her on the floor and left to join the others. Dorothy would have been upset if she hadn't been so extremely impressed.

Chapter 4: The Duel

Duo ran into the training room after he heard Quatre's announcement to him and the other Gundam pilots that he and `Duo' were dueling at six for `ownership' Dorothy. He was greeted with the sight of Dorothy practicing her fencing with an imaginary opponent.

"What the hell were you thinking?!"

"Pardon?" she asked without stopping her practice.

"Dueling with Quatre! Are you nuts?!"

"What are you talking about you know what happened the last time we fought."

"Yeah but that time he wasn't trying to win!"

She stopped and looked at him, "Are you trying to say that you think I'll lose?"

"I'm not worried about you winning I'm worried about him doing something to my body! And I'm pretty pissed about him thinkin we got somethin goin on!"

"I don't like it either but I'm rather impressed that he's finally showing some aggressiveness in fact I'm honored, the only other thing that can make him have a backbone is the death of several loved ones."

"What are you gonna do I can't have everyone thinkin I'm fighting over YOU!"

"I plan to give this my all and if he wins I think he truly deserves me."

"You mean ME he's gonna end up with ME!!"

"Maxwell relax everything will work out."

"Dorothy I'm warnin you don't mess up my body."

"Or you'll what? Hurt me? Besides you owe me after that razor thing."

Duo grinned evilly, "Maybe so but just don't let him hurt me to bad cause if you do I'll...I'll do something really mean!"

While Dorothy rolled her eyes and, Duo turned and walked out. She sighed and looked at her watch.

"Five minutes till six better suit up." She said to herself.

Duo, Hilde, and Relena sat nervously on a bench while Heero Trowa and Wufei stood nearby making bets. Quatre was practicing a few moves while waiting for `Duo' to show up. Finally `he' did. Quatre smiled evilly and raised his sword to show he was ready. Dorothy stood in ready position as well waiting for him to strike.

"Lady's first." Said Quatre with a sneer.

Hilde slapped her hand over Duo's mouth before he could protest, Dorothy smiled and lunged at him.

Duo cowered behind his hands, trying not to look when Quatre sliced his body into little pieces, but once he looked up he found that not only was Dorothy holding her own, she was winning. Heero and Wufei looked on in total shock.

"I didn't know he could fence." Wufei said.

"Now this is a first." Said Heero.

"I knew he had it in him." Said Trowa who had bet all his money on `Duo'.

The fight raged on for a few minutes until Quatre jumped back panting, "Wow Duo I didn't know you could fight like this, you're good, but sadly not good enough." 

Dorothy charged him again and took a swipe at him but he ducked and did a sweep kick putting her flat on her back. She rolled out of the way just as his sword plunged into the ground where her stomach would have been. Dorothy took another swipe at him but he sidestepped the attack and swung at her arm slicing through the protective material and cutting her arm.

Duo made a funny choking noise and was about to get up and beat the crap out of Quatre but Hilde and Relena pinned him down, Hilde once again covering his mouth to prevent him from yelling unladylike phrases. 

"You bastard!" Dorothy yelled to Quatre.

"You asked for it. Now to end this!" he yelled as he attacked.

This time Dorothy waited for him to get to her before she struck and was surprised when he slid under her sword, and popped up behind her. Before she could spin around he booted her in the spine causing her to fall and drop her weapon. Quatre caught it before it could hit the ground, Dorothy spun onto her back and gasped when she saw Quatre standing over her with the two swords crossed over each other like a pair of scissors at her neck.

"I win." He said with a smug grin.

Dorothy smiled, "Guess so...you can put the sword down now."

"Only after you say you are and ugly prick who doesn't even deserve to be in Dorothy's presence."

"I am an ugly prick who doesn't deserve to be in Dorothy's presence." She repeated.

At this point Relena and Hilde were sitting on Duo in order to keep him down, Relena was the one covering his mouth this time since he bit Hilde. Heero Trowa and Wufei were so busy laughing at the whole `Duo' Quatre scene they didn't notice.

"Also," continued Quatre, "Say Dorothy is a goddess with unmatchable beauty and hair even more gorgeous than your own."

"Dorothy is a goddess with unmatchable beauty and hair ever more gorgeous than my own." 

Duo managed to jump up and was about to kill Quatre but Hilde and Relena tackled him again and before he could shout his protest Hilde shoved a handful of hair in his mouth then clamped her one good hand over it.

Quatre thought for a moment then removed the swords from his opponents' throat, "Alright that's good." He extended his hand to `Duo' and helped `him' up. 

"That was pretty impressive Mr Winner."

"Thank you Duo you did weren't so bad yourself I didn't know you had that kind of skill...and since when have you called me Mr Winner?"

"Never mind that, what I'd like to know is where you leaned those moves from."

"Oh just something I thought up in my sleep." He bragged, "Now if you'll excuse me." He then walked over to Duo as soon as he faced that direction Hilde and Relena jumped off him and left him spitting hair out of his mouth.

Quatre walked up to him with a sweet mile and offered his hand to Duo, who only scowled until Relena pinched him. Duo squeaked and leapt into Quatre's arms.

"Ah, we are finally together my sweet."

Duo cracked a fake smile, "Yeah wonderful."

Quatre the hauled Duo over his shoulder and proceeded to walk away, Duo shot Hilde and Relena a look of pure terror as he was being dragged away. 

Dorothy waved, "Bye have fun!"

Trowa Wufei and Heero finally recovered from their laughing fit and went to `Duo's' side.

"Tell me Maxwell how the hell did you learn to fight like that?!" Asked Wufei.

"Dorothy taught me." She said.

"How long were you two...together?" Trowa asked.

"Oh we weren't I just wanted to test my skills against him, I don't know how he got the idea that me and Dorothy were a couple."

"You should get that arm checked." Heero stated flatly.

Dorothy looked down at her arm she hadn't noticed the wound before, it was a pretty deep cut and it was bleeding a lot as well, "Damn." She growled, "Guess I should." With that she took off into the house followed closely by Hilde and Relena. 

Once they were away from the others the Relena spoke, "You idiot you let Quatre win and take Duo, lord knows what he'll do to him!"

Dorothy grinned, "I have an idea."

"And you're OK with that?!" Hilde squealed.

"Fine by me it's not like he's cheating."

"Yes it is AND with DUO!" shouted Hilde.

"Relax he's in my body so it's not like there're gay." 

"RELAX?!!!!!! Quatre's about to rape Duo!"

"Quatre is a gentleman if Duo says no then he won't."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!" screamed Duo as Quatre finally pinned him down after chasing him around the bed for five minutes, "Get off! Get off! Get off!"

"Dorothy what's the matter? Is it my breath?"

"No it's that you're on my spine now GET OFF!!!!"

"Oh sorry." Said Quatre and helped him up.

"It's OK just don't do it again."

"Well I thought you wanted me to pin you down like last time remember?" he said the last word with sexy smile.

"Yes...of course but I can't be with you tonight because...I...have a cold. Yes I have a cold and *cough* I *sniff* don't want you to catch *sneeze* it."

"Oh Dorothy that's terrible well why didn't you tell me?"

"Because *cough* I *sniffle* didn't want you to *sneeze* worry."

"Here sit on the bed I'll get you some tea stay right there alright?"

"Alright." Duo said in his sickest voice and lay down on the bed. The second the door closed he jumped up and proceeded to try and escape through the window, but found it was stuck and he couldn't get it open.

"Ssssssshit!" he hissed. 

Soon Quatre reentered to find Duo struggling to open the window, he set the tea he had down on the night table and went to his side.

"Something wrong my love?"

Duo jumped, startled by his sudden appearance, "Oh hi...I just...wanted some air it's hot in here."

"Well did you try unlocking it?"

Duo looked down at the silver latch and grinned sheepishly, "Hehe silly me."

Quatre opened the window and led Duo back to the bed, "Now you lay down and rest here's your tea."

Duo took the cup and blew on the hot liquid inside, "Thank you but I really should be getting back to my room."

"Don't even think it your staying in here with me."

Duo spat out the little bit of tea he had drank, "WHAT?!"

"You're going to stay with me. Now lay back," he said as he took the tea from Duo and pushed him down on the bed, "And get some sleep, I'll be right back." 

Then Quatre got up and disappeared into the bathroom, when he emerged he was wearing nothing but a silk robe and he had something white in his hand which he handed to Duo.

"What's that?"

"Your nightgown silly, the one you wore the night we made our relationship official, I kept it and cherished it ever since that night I haven't even washed it."

Duo felt like throwing up and passing out at the same time, "So what do you want me to do with it?"

"Wear it."

"Uh couldn't I just sleep in my clothes?"

"Don't play shy now just put it on."

"Uh *cough* I'm to sick to *sneeze* change my clothes, *wheese* just let me sleep *sniff* like this."

"Oh you poor thing let me dress you then."

Before Duo could protest Quatre pinned him down and was undressing him, Duo tried to yell but got a mouth full of shirt as it was lifted over his head. In and instant he was completely undressed and Quatre was standing back looking him over. Duo blushed and grabbed the white silk slip he was holding and put it on, once he did Quatre jumped into bed and got under the covers pulling Duo with him and wrapped his arms around his waist. Duo tried to get free but every time he did Quatre just pulled him closer finally he quit struggling and tried to think of other things. 

"Dorothy?"

"Yeah?" Duo replied nervously.

"I've decided that I'm going to take you with me back home with me when I leave isn't that great?"

"Great juuuuust peachy."

Chapter 5: The insanity of War (Day 4)

Relena was sleeping happily when she was awakened when something heavy landed on her chest, her eyes shot open and she found she was face to face with herself.

"Hi Relena! Guess what!"

"You lost your toothbrush?" she asked wrinkling her nose.

"No! Zechs said he was going to ask Noin to marry him TODAY!!"

"What? Oh my gosh are you kidding?!!!"

"Nope I just talked to him he's really nervous though."

"Wow this is great! Wait what about that thing between Noin and Heero?"

"Oh I asked Heero about that last night and he said she said that she wouldn't mention it...after he begged her of course."

Relena giggled, "I would have loved to have seen that!"

"I'm goin' downstairs for breakfast you wanna come?"

"OK if you'll get off my gut."

"Oops sorry!"

Dorothy sat at the dresser brushing her hair when there was a loud knock at the door, she took her time in answering it. She was surprised to see Heero standing outside fully dressed.

"Hi can I help you?"

"Hurry up and get dressed I was just informed that Microft is starting a full scale attack now get ready for some serious action they've got us seriously outnumbered." He said.

"Huh?"

"You heard me now get dressed we're going to need everyone to fight, Trowa and Wufei are already suited up, oh yeah tell Quatre and Hilde to get ready for me they're downstairs eating breakfast."

"WHAT?!!!!!!"

Heero covered his ears at the outburst, "I said tell Hilde and Quatre to suit up what are you deaf?"

"Will we have backup?"

"No there aren't THAT many suits we should be able to handle it. Why? You too scared to go into battle?"

Dorothy didn't reply to that she simply slammed the door in his face and rushed to get dressed.

Duo was grumbling profanity as Quatre attempted to feed him another spoonful of grits, Hilde and Relena were sitting opposite of the table giggling. Duo attempted to give them the death glare but was distracted by Quatre.

"Come on Dorothy one bite wont hurt."

"No." growled Duo.

"Sweety what's the matter? Is it your cold?"

"No."

"Are you going to say no to everything I ask?"

"Yup."

"Please eat."

"No."

Quatre sighed and put down the spoon, "She's not a morning person." He said to the two across from him.

Suddenly Dorothy slid in with a panicked look on her face, when she saw Quatre she immediately tried to look cool calm and relaxed but it didn't work. 

"Uh, Morning everyone." She said.

"Morning Duo!" Quatre beamed.

Dorothy stood at the head of the table, "Quatre, Hilde I have bad news Microft has decided to launch a full scale attack on the Sanc and we have no choice but to fight and we need you two to suit up and get into gear."

The whole table looked shocked, Duo was the first to remember how to speak, "Are you going to fight?" he asked in a worried tone.

"Yes."

Duo cringed, "Well don't mess it up."

"Don't worry Dorothy, Duo can hold his own in battle."

"I wasn't talking about the war I was talking about my Gundam." He grumbled in a voice to low to hear.

Meanwhile Relena was about to pass out again; her fight in a mobile suit, that was a bad idea for so many reasons it wasn't even funny.

"I don't think I can fight because...I haven't been feeling well lately." Said Relena.

"You too? Dorothy got sick suddenly like that too last night maybe it's some sort of twenty-four hour bug." Said Quatre.

"I doesn't matter if she's sick we need to get moving so let's go NOW!!!" snapped Heero who had just walked in.

Relena stood on shaky legs and walked to the door and Dorothy followed, Hilde and Duo could only watch.

"What the hell are we going to do?" whispered Relena once they were in the hanger and away from eavesdroppers.

"I can pilot a mobile suit but I don't know what you're going to do Miss Relena." Said Dorothy.

"Walk me through it."

"Huh?"

"Just tell me which button does what and I'll be OK."

"It's not that simple..."

"Come on if Duo can learn it why can't I?"

"Alright I'll try but don't expect miracles."

"Duo stop talking and get in the damn suit!!!" shouted Heero.

"Rude little son of a bitch." Muttered Dorothy.

Relena walked over to a tall white suit next to Noin's and got in, it took her a moment to figure out how to close to hatch and even longer to work the seatbelt.

Meanwhile...

Dorothy looked over the controls, yup, she could handle this no problem, the design was different but the controls were about the same as any mobile suit just a lot more high tec. She heard a beep and then heard her own voice over the com-link, it was Duo.

"Hiya, look I know you know about the basic controls but there are a few things you should know about. One to activate the scythe use the little green button under the booster switch, two the self-destruct button don't work so don't try it, and last but most importantly DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT press the red button above you!"

Dorothy looked up at the small red button above her head and a mischievous smile crept over her face, "Whyyyyyyyy?"

"Trust me just don't do it."

Being the person she is Dorothy shrugged and pushed the button anyway. 

Noin was adjusting a few of the setting on her suit when she heard a blood curtailing scream from the Deathscythe. `Weird kid' she thought.

"I told you not to press it!!!" snapped Duo.

"How do you turn it off?!!!!"

"Press the button again!"

Dorothy did just that and the image on the screen in front of her disappeared, for a moment she just sat their trying to catch her breath, "Duo, why is their a porno video of you and Hilde installed in your Gundam?"

"Do you really want to know?"

Just then another voice can in, "Dorothy are you alright?!" asked Relena.

"No! I'll never be alright after that!"

"After what?"

"Jeez chill you act like ya never seen two people doin it before!" said Duo.

"Not in that position!! Hell is that even legal?!!"

"Hey don't give me the Saint Dorothy act I know about you Quatre and Sandrock and from what I heard you two scored about a fifty on the Richter scale."

"You know about that?!" she gasped.

"Ooooooohhhh yeah do I ever!"

"Dorothy I hate to interrupt this obviously important conversation, but could you please give me lift off instruction everyone else is getting ready to leave." Said Relena.

"Oh sorry, later Maxwell." With that she cut Duo off the line.

"Alright press the big black button underneath the joystick."

"Done."

"Now wait a moment to let the engine warm up then press the button on the top of the joystick but not until the others take off OK."

"Gotcha."

Soon she heard Zechs's voice on her intercom, "Alright everyone listen the only way we can even hope to survive this is to stick by each other these guys are all about divide and conquer. Now let's go!"

Heero was the first to take off followed by Wufei the Trowa, Noin, Zechs, Quatre and Dorothy. Relena was the last one out in hopes no one would notice her lousy driving.

"Dorothy I think something's wrong with my controls they don't seem to be responding correctly!"

"Oh I forgot to tell you, left is right, right is left, down is up, and up is down."

"Well that sounds easy enough." Said Relena sarcastically.

"Good luck."

Soon they arrived at the battle scene their were enemy suit all around them but that didn't seem to phase the other pilots at all they just started bowing them up. Relena began to panic when she found herself in the middle of it all.

"Dorothy how do you shoot?!"

"Raise your gun and fire!"

"Well how do I raise my gun?!!" she asked panicked, then the cockpit began to glow a bright gold color. 

Noin smiled as another M.S. exploded in front of her, she moved on to take on another and found the perfect target when Zechs flew in front of her and shot it, as well as two other possible targets.

Annoyed she called him on the intercom, "I can take care of myself Zechs you don't have to baby me!"

"Who? Me?" he asked as he shot three more suits that had attempted to target her.

"Yes you cut it out!"

"I'm not doing anything." He said innocently as he, yet again, shot a few more suits that threatened to fire at her.

"Zechs!!"

"Alright alright don't have a heart attack there are still plenty left for you."

"Thank you." She said and took aim for and unsuspecting target, when Zechs flew in and cut it to pieces. Noin muttered something unkind under her breath then flew off to fight solo.

Meantime Relena had finally gotten the hand of the aim and shoot concept and was kicking major mobile suit butt. In fact she was doing so well she decided to strike up a conversation with Dorothy.

"Ever wonder why they call this a joystick I think it's kind of perverted...joy...stick. I mean really and what's with the name cockpit, I don't see any cocks do you?"

"Miss Relena are you alright?"

"I'm fine, you know what I am doing now is against everything I have ever stood for but it fells great to show those bastards that you can't just come in my kingdom and insult the queen then start a war!"

"I'm glad you're starting to see the true beauty of war Miss Relena."

"Hell Yeah! War rules! Look out cause this Pacifist is gonna kick your ass!!!"

"M'k she's lost it." Muttered Dorothy.

"You know I know a cool story do you want to hear it?"

"Not really I'm kind of busy right now..."

"This happened to my friend's brother's sister's aunt's uncle's girlfriend's vet's mother's exhusband's father-in-law's cousin twice removed. OK there was this girl who..."

"Could we save the story for later?"

"K how `bout a joke?"

"Um no..."

"If a dumb blonde a smart blond and Santa Clause all jump off a building who'd hit the ground first?"

"I don't know nor do I care."

"The dumb blonde cause the other two don't exist!"

"You're beginning to make me veeery angry Miss Relena."

"Didn't like that one OK try this how do you get a blonde to part her hair? Ask her to do a split!"

"OK that does it come here you little twit!!!!!!!"

Relena flew away laughing hysterically, Noin watched as `Duo' chased `Hilde' with and tried to rip her to ribbons with `his' scythe.

"What's wrong with them?" she asked Quatre who had noticed the commotion as well.

"I don't know if it were Hilde attacking I'd say it was the Zero system."

"Huh?"

"I activated it before she got in since she has such a strong body and mind I figured she could handle it and she's doing fine!"

"Duo doesn't have the system to does he?"

"No I don't know what's wrong with him, I'll ask...Duo this is Quatre,um, why are you attacking Hilde?!"

"Because the bitch keeps on telling blond jokes and it's pissing me off!!!"

In the background Noin and Quatre heard Relena say, "Why do blonde wear underwear? To keep there ankles warm!"

"Aaaaahhhh come here you retard!!!!!!!" shouted Dorothy as she lunged at the nutty pilot again.

"Duo why are you upset your not blonde?" asked Noin.

There was a pause, "Because!"

"Stop acting stupid we have to keep fighting we're winning but it won't stay that way if we start attacking each other!" 

"Fine! But when this is over I'm going to kill her!!!!!"

As Quatre tuned out her heard Relena say, "How do blondes turn on the lights after sex? They open the car door!"

Quatre shook his head, "I think I'll join you."

In a short time the group defeated all of the enemy suits and were looking over the battle field in awe.

"We came, we saw, we kicked their asses!!!" yelled Relena.

"That was a bit too easy." Said Heero.

"Yup I say we call Micky Mouse...or whatever his name was and tell us to send us a real challenge!!"

"You're right Heero we shouldn't have won that so quickly I mean even Hilde doesn't have a scratch." Said Wufei.

"Hey!!!" whined Relena.

At that moment alarms went off in all the mobile suits indication that a HUGE amount of energy was building somewhere nearby.

"It was a decoy!" shouted Wufei.

"Decoy? For what?" asked Noin.

"That!!!" he yelled pointing to a large beam cannon rising out of the trees behind her, "They needed time to charge it!"

"Shit! Everyone scatter!"

Unfortunately it was to late for that, the cannon fired right at them, fortunately they had all moved far enough from the target to only be blown into the sky although seriously damaged. All accept for Noin who got caught in the actual blast and had half her suit blown off which caused it to fall and roll for a distance before the other half blew up making a clearing in the woods. 

"Noin!!!!!" shouted Zechs.

While he went to go look at the wreckage, the others made short work of the beam cannon, even with their physical and mechanical injuries, as it attempted to charge again. Once they reduced it to rubble they flew over to aid Zechs, Quatre was the first out of his Gundam to join him at the remains of Noin's suit, he was soon followed by the others.

"She's not in there." Said Zechs with a look of relief on his face.

"Are you sure?" asked Quatre.

"Yes her chair was still in tact and her seatbelt is undone."

Quatre turned to face the others as they got out of their suits, "Everyone spread out and look for Noin she got out before it exploded!"

Dorothy looked around, "Quatre that could take hours she could have gotten out at any time during that and the thing was thrown a couple on kilometers!"

"Well what do you suggest we do Duo not look for her because YOU don't want to?!"

"No I'm saying doing it by foot is pointless."

"We have to if we use the Gundam's we'll be to high up to see her and there's a chance we might step on her." Said Heero.

Relena laughed at the thought but stopped when everyone glared at her.

"Well we're wasting time standing here let's go!" said Wufei.

The group split up and headed into the woods, Relena was prancing through the woods, the affects of the Zero system still working on her. Suddenly Dorothy tackled her from behind.

"OK you wise cracking twit prepare to DIE!!!"

"Why Mr Wolf?"

"Huh?"

"I'm on my way to my grandma's house to bring her a basket of goodies!"

"Miss Relena did you hit your head when you crashed?"

"Mr Wolf can I go now I really need to get to my grandma's?"

Dorothy got off her and watched her get up and skip further into the woods, she would have followed her but she heard something in the bushes next to her. She cautiously walked over to the noise and peeked over the bushes to see Noin laying on her side groaning in pain Dorothy rushed to her side.

"Miss Noin are you alright?!"

She groaned and rolled over, Dorothy gasped at what she saw; her face was covered in scratches and her arms were covered with deep cuts and her leg was twisting in an unnatural position. She removed her hand from her stomach to reveal a large gash in her side that was bleeding badly, Dorothy thought for a moment and remembered she was in a male body and removed her shirt to hold it over the wound.

"I found her!!!!!!" she called to anyone in hearing range.

The first one to show up was Trowa followed by Quatre, Wufei, and Heero. 

"She needs a doctor." Said Trowa.

"No shit Sherlock!" snapped Dorothy.

Just then Zechs ran over and for a moment could only stare in shock, "Is...is she alive."

Dorothy nodded, "But not for long if we don't get her some help."

"We shouldn't move her." Said Quatre.

"Do we have a choice?" asked Heero.

"Look don't move her yet I'll get my Gundam and we can take her home on that." Said Zechs, then he took off into the woods.

Dorothy looked down at the injured woman, "Miss Noin?" She only twitched in response, "We're going to have to move you in a moment so get ready."

As if on cue Zechs appeared and lowered a large mechanical hand onto the ground next to her, Trowa, Heero and Wufei helped Dorothy lift her. Noin couldn't help but scream in pain and when she did someone came barreling out of the bushes and tackled Dorothy yelling `Leave my granny alone!!'. Needless to say Relena had returned, luckily the other boys didn't drop her and placed Noin carefully into the Tallgeese's hand. Heero got on with her to make sure she didn't fall and once he got on Zechs took off at top speed for the Sanc. Dorothy managed to buck Relena off her and stormed back to her ride home, Relena skipped after her singing 260975831 Bottles of Beer on the Wall. The others followed a good loooooong distance behind. 

When they returned Relena and Dorothy were the first ones in, they were immediately greeted by Duo and Hilde.

"Guys what happened to Noin?!" asked Hilde.

"The whole thing was a setup they knew we would stick together so they sent out a bunch of mobile suits to keep us busy while they charged up a mega sized beam cannon. They wanted to take us all out in one shot but for the most part they missed, the only on they really hurt was Noin, it could have been worse though."

"And what's wrong with her?" asked Duo referring to Relena who was on her 8485636th bottle of beer.

"I don't know but if one more bottle of beer falls off the was I'm going to kill the little crackpot!"

"Relena...Relena do you know who I am?" asked Duo.

She smiled, "Oh of course you're Sailor Venus!!!"

"Wha..."

"Do that love chain attack thingy!!!"

"I'm afraid this is my fault." Said Quatre as he walked in the room, "I installed and activated the Zero system and it seems to have improved her skills but driven her to insanity and she isn't getting better."

"You let Rel...Hilde use the Zero system?" asked Hilde.

"Yeah I thought she could handle it."

"Where are Wufei and Trowa?" asked Duo.

"Oh Wufei and Trowa are docking Wing Zero they had to carry it here after Heero left with Noin and Zechs." Answered Dorothy.

Quatre hadn't been paying attention to the conversation he was busy watching Relena make out with a sock puppet she just made. Hilde noticed and ran over to try and pry the smelly sock from her mouth.

"Noooooooo! Mr Socko and I were meant to be together!" shouted Relena as she ran after Hilde who was taking off with her `lover'. Dorothy chased after them to watch for her own twisted amusement. 

"Well Dorothy I guess it's just you and me now." Said Quatre with a sexy smile.

"Quatre Raberba Winner! How can you think of sex when Miss Noin is on deaths door?!"

"Oh I'm sorry you're right I am so ashamed."

Duo breathed a sigh of relief, then turned and left Quatre in the kitchen to go visit his injured friend.

Zechs looked down at Noin's limp form on the hospital bed she had tubes all over her to do everything, make her heart beat, to make her breath, if she wasn't hooked up to these machines she'd be dead and that's what scared him so much. 

The door opened and Duo walked in and sat next to him, "I swear Dorothy if you give me that glory of war crap I will take this chair and shove it down your throat." Zechs said gruffly.

"Hey I'm not here to bug you I just thought you could use a shoulder to cry on is all."

Zechs sneered at him, "What makes you think I want to cry?"

"Cause the woman you love is clinging to dear life."

"You reeeeeally know how to cheer a person up."

Duo ignored that and sat back, "You want to be alone?" No answer, "Alright then I'll leave." He got up but was stopped by Zechs grabbing his arm, Duo understood and sat down again, "Don't worry she'll be 

OK."

"I pray you're right."

Dorothy and Hilde met in the middle of the library with a look of confusion on both their faces, "Where'd she go?" asked Hilde.

"I don't know I saw her a second ago." 

Then they heard a snap and looked up to see a shocking sight; Relena standing on top of the book shelf in a skimpy leather outfit with a whip in her and a sword in the other.

"My name is Xena Warrior Princess! And I am here to stop you Calisto!" shouted Relena pointing at Dorothy.

"Say what?" said a confused Hilde.

"Relena! You've been going through my things again!" shouted Dorothy referring to the costume.

"Silence! Gabriel you are too inexperienced to handle this leave this vixen to me!" Relena shouted to Hilde, then she charged Dorothy swinging her sword making a really weird battle cry as she did so. 

Dorothy took off running all the while looking for something to defend herself with, Hilde ran after her trying to stop Relena before she went out in public in the waaaay too revealing outfit.

Trowa and Wufei were walking through the hall when they saw `Duo' burst out of the library with a chair leg to sword fight with `Hilde' who was dressed in a VERY tight VERY skimpy leather outfit armed not only with a sword but a whip which she occasionally cracked at `Duo's' feet making `him' jump, followed by `Relena' who was yelling at `Hilde' about her self image. 

Wufei opened his mouth to speak but Trowa stopped him, "Trust me you will be SO much happier if you just don't ask."

Chapter 6: Twinkies, Wine, and Paint...and not Necessarily in That Order

Heero was in the hangar making repairs when he heard some beeps coming from the cockpit, he growled and got up to take the incoming call.

"What?" he answered.

"Heero it's me Sally you called a few minutes ago remember?"

"Oh yeah, we've got problems over here Noin is in really bad condition and needs some professional help. All the doctors here know as much about medicine as a cocker spaniel, she was in surgery for hours and she's still slipping away. Oh and bring some mechanics while you're at it. All the Gundams have received serious damage and I'm getting the feeling that the enemy may attack again soon, they know we have very little military force and the suits we do have are damaged."

"Well I'll see if I can get Howard to come by to help you with that but as for medical help I'll be their in a couple of hours."

"Alright and hurry things are looking pretty bad."

"Well I'm coming so tell her to hold on." 

The connection was cut and Heero went back to his repairs.

Hilde and Dorothy held onto Relena's hands as thy dragged her down the hall to the Hospital in the East wing of the palace. Relena was looking around calmly singing Attack of the Killer Tomatoes when she suddenly stopped and listened carefully to the sounds around her.

She looked up at her two captors and said in a non musical tone, "Do you know the muffin man? The muffin man? The muffin man? Do you know him?! Well?! Do you?!! BECAUSE HE'S COMING!!!! HE'S COMING!! AND HE'S COMING TO GET ME!!!" 

As she screamed this she began thrashing wildly causing servants to look up from their work and wonder why the queen of the country and a Gundam pilot were dragging a dark haired, leather wearing, screaming kicking, girl who was yelling something about the muffin man. Dorothy saw the entrance to the hospital and picked you the pace.

"Hey! Careful you'll give me a rug burn!" snapped Hilde

"Not through that leather." She replied and continued down the hall.

They burst in and were headed for the examination room when they spotted the others in one of the rooms next to Noin's bed. Dorothy let go of Relena and left her whimpering in Hilde's arms, inside she saw Trowa, Wufei, Zechs Duo and Quatre all sitting in silence.

"Is she going to be alright?" asked Dorothy.

"Doctor said that all we can do now is wait for her to get better and from the looks of things it's not likely." Said Wufei, who received a poke in the ribs from Trowa for his insensitivity.

Hilde appeared behind Dorothy and said, "Well I think she's looking better." 

Wufei snorted at that and received a kick in the shins for it.

Relena walked in stared at Duo and gasped, "It's YOU!!"

Duo covered his face, "Oh no not this again."

"Oh my gosh it's Cousin It!! I have dreamed of meeting you!" she pulled a magic marker out of her bra and handed it to Duo, "Will you autograph my arm?"

"Pardon?"

"Pleeeeeease?"

"Uh...OK."

While he was signing and Dorothy was trying to stop Hilde from yelling at Duo for writing on her body, Relena rambled on, "I like your new hairstyle, blonde is nice, although with eyebrows like those I see why you had it over your face to begin with."

Now it was Hilde who had to hold back Dorothy, "Look we've got to take her to get a CAT scan the Zero system seems to have warped her brain." Said Hilde as she hauled Relena and Dorothy out the door, but Relena wiggled free and pranced back in the room singing and dancing.

"I gotta se-cret, I gotta se-cret, I gotta se-cret!"

"Are you crazy?" asked Trowa.

Relena stopped her song and dance and thought for a moment then said, "Gee I can't say...It's a secret."

Hilde ran in and dragged her out again, Wufei shook his head, "Some people."

After a moment of silence Duo got bored and decided to take this moment to find out what his fellow pilots REALLY thought of him, "Hey Wufei what do you think of Duo?"

Wufei snorted, "Why do you ask?"

"No reason just bored."

"Alright if you must know I think that boy fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down."

Duo was about to beat the snot out of him but Heero walked in with Sally Po at his side, "Hi everyone what's the situation?" she asked.

"Sally what are you doing here?" asked Duo.

"Well I was told that my expertise was needed."

"It is but how did you know?"

"Heero called me and told me to hurry over and getting here in an hour from space is no easy task so I hope I am really needed here."

"Oh you are she needs help the surgeons did all they could but from the looks of her that wasn't enough." Said Quatre.

Sally walked over to Noin and cringed, "What happened?"

"Mobile suit accident." Said Heero.

"This isn't going to be easy but I'll do what I can, OK call in at least five nurses and the doctor that looked at her when she came in. We're going to have to move her into the operating room so everyone 

OUT!"

"How long has she been in their?!" grumbled an impatient Zechs, "I swear I should fire this whole hospital staff!"

"Calm down she's going to be alright." Said Trowa.

The group was in a small waiting room; sitting impatiently to hear news for Noin's condition, Heero was typing on his labtop, Trowa was reading a magazine, Wufei was meditating, Duo was singing Oops I Did It Again, Quatre was humming the melody, and Zechs was pacing the floor. The door opened and they all relaxed when they saw it was only Dorothy and Hilde and Relena, mind you Relena is strapped in a wheelchair with a straight jacket on. Dorothy sat next to Duo but Quatre traded seats with him and glared at her, Hilde sat next to Trowa and looked at his magazine over his shoulder. Relena decided to have a staring contest with Duo who had nothing better to do so took the challenge.

Duo decided to play dirty and pointed behind her, "Look it's Sailor Moon!!"

"Where?!!" she asked looking around.

"Ha I win!"

"Cheater!"

"OK let's start round two, Ready...Set...Stare!"

Dorothy rolled her eyes and propped her chin up on her hand, "This is going to be a looooooong day."

"What time is it?" asked Zechs.

Heero checked his watch, "Five thirty." 

"She's been in there for six hours!"

"Six hours and twenty-one minutes to be exact." Said Sally as she came in pushing Noin in a wheelchair. 

"Noin!" Zechs said as he rushed to her side.

Noin smiled weakly at him, "Hi."

"Granny!!" cheered Relena.

"She's going to be OK as long as you keep her off her feet and especially her right leg for the next couple of months. And she just came out of surgery so she's going to be a little out of it." Said Sally.

Dorothy sat up, "HOW out of it?"

"I mean she'll be groggy and she may not recognize you at first sight but it'll get better."Zechs smiled and hugged Sally tightly, "Thank you."

"No problem."

Wufei raised an eyebrow at Zech's gesture, Trowa nudged him, "Don't get jealous he's only thanking her."

"What?! Me jealous of them?! HA!"

"Suuuuuure you aren't." teased Duo.

"Quiet onna!" snapped Wufei.

At the dinner table Zechs sat next to Noin feeding her despite her protests, opposite of them was Dorothy feeding Relena (cause she lost the coin toss) since her arms tied up in her straight jacket. Beside them was Quatre whispering sweet nothings in Duo's ear which made him too sick to eat, Hilde was talking to Trowa while Sally and Wufei engaged in the argument of the day over nothing in particular. The only one who wasn't present was Heero he had gone to greet Howard and his crew as well as work on Wing Zero. Dorothy had momentarily stopped feeding Relena to get a bite of food herself, and in that small instant her back was turned Relena leaned over, took the plate in her mouth, dumped the contents onto the floor, and smashed it on the table. Dorothy looked at the mess she made and did her best to resist hitting her really, really hard, what she didn't notice was that Relena was hiding a large piece of broken glass in her mouth. A maid came in to clean up the mess and brought in another plate for Relena but she refused to eat, Dorothy growled many curses and decided to take Relena to her room. 

On her way out Hilde stopped her, "I'll take her I need to keep an eye on her in case she tries something funny."

Dorothy handed Relena over to Hilde, "If you'll excuse me Trowa." She said as she got up. Trowa nodded and turned to watch the fight between Wufei and Sally heat up. Hilde pushed Relena down the hall and into her bedroom, once inside Hilde sat on the bed and was about to read a book on the nightstand when she heard Relena say something but she couldn't understand since the other girl was talking like she had something in her mouth.

"What did you say?"

"I shaid I hashta go to the bafroom."

"You have to go to the bathroom?" Relena nodded, "OK but I'm not letting you out of that jacket."

Relena shrugged, "K."

Hilde undid the straps that held the legs to the wheelchair and the one around her waist, then led her in the bathroom and stood by the door.

Quatre led a reluctant Duo into his sleeping quarters and sat him on the bed, "Now you wait here and I'll be right back." He said as he went into the walk in closet, Duo smiled and waited until he was out of view and ran for the door only to find it was locked from the inside with a key.

"What the hell...who has a key for the inside of a room?" He asked himself, when he heard Quatre again he dove for the bed and pretended nothing had happened. Then when he saw Quatre he lost his cool composure and screamed like a little girl. The blonde gundam pilot was wearing a bondage outfit complete with a collar handcuffs and a whip. 

Quatre cracked it once against the floor and said, found it right outside the library thought it would make this a little more fun...oh and one more surprise," Quatre pulled a can of whipped cream from behind his back, "Yummy."

Duo fainted.

Hilde tapped her foot impatiently, `What is taking her so long?' she thought, then it hit her, "Oh she can't get her pants down in the straight jacket and she's to stupid to ask for help!" she said to herself. Hilde opened the door to assist Relena but when she open the door all she saw was the straight jacket a sharp piece of glass on the floor and an open window.

"What the..." 

She picked up the slobbery glass and the jacket, she had cut through the fabric with the glass no doubt. Hilde dropped the items and rushed to the window, two stories down she could see flattened shrubbery where Relena had landed.

"SHIT!!" she screamed as she raced down the hall back to the dinning room.

Relena was walking around the perimeter of the castle whistling the X-Men theme when she came across some men bringing a bunch of paint cans into the back entrance of the banquet hall. She dismissed the scene when she heard a man call her, not by her name (either of them) but she could tell he was talking to her. 

"Excuse me ma'am are you Miss Tate?"

"Yup." Said Relena, still not in her right mind.

"Wow tha guys said you was young but dang."

"What do you want?"

The man gave her an odd look, "To tell us what the heck were supposed ta be paintin' on the banquet hall ceilin'... You is Miss Donna Tate the painter aint cha?"

Relena thought for a moment then smiled evily, "Oh I have that information."

"Dorothy? Hey Dorothy! Wake up!"

Duo opened his eyes and focused on Quatre's face, his eyes opened all the way and he sat straight up with a jerk, he was relived to find the other boy dressed in a pair of boxers and a tank top.

"Oi what happened?"

"You fainted I guess I was just too sexy." Quatre joked.

Duo shuddered, "Oh yeah now I remember."

Suddenly there was a knock at the door, and Quatre got up to answer it, "Hello Miss Relena how may I help you?"

"Uh I need to speak to Dorothy for a moment it's an emergency."

Duo got up and came to the door, "Yeah?"

Hilde grabbed his arm and pulled him into the hall, "Relena got free outside and I need help finding her!" she whispered.

"I'd be glad to but wont the others help?"

"I went to the dining room to tell them but everyone had left and I couldn't find them so I come here looking for you."

"Well lets go...oh wait a sec." Duo stepped back into the room, "Um Quatre I have to take care of something it may take a while so don't wait up OK?"

Quatre sighed, "Alright sugarpuss."

Duo turned to face a snickering Relena (technically Hilde but you knew that), "What?"

"Sugarpuss?" she laughed.

"Ugh I know nauseating aint it."

"Let's start in the garden and search from the outside of the East wing to the West side."

Duo groaned, "This is going to be a long night."

Sally poured herself another glass of wine and took a delicate sip while glancing over at Wufei who was sucking it down by the gallon. She Wufei and Trowa were on balcony of third floor the view of the Sanc was stunning but Sally and Trowa seemed to be the only ones enjoying it. The young Chinese boy was a little to drunk to, Sally had told him not to drink so much but her insisted that since he was male he could handle liquor well. `Yeah right.' Thought Sally as she took another sip glancing at the drunken boy next to her.

After a few minutes Wufei broke the everlasting silence "Know what?" when no one answered he continued, "My life is really screwed up, I'm a scholar and a *hick* widower at 16 and still a friggin virgin...that's not right." He now had Sally and Trowa's FULL attention, "That's why I'm *hick* always talkin' about in*hick*justice I should be out *hick* datin' and partyin'...like Maxwell, yeah, Maxwell's got the right idea, make life one big *hick* joke, laugh, smile, *hick* and be happy." 

"That's enough for you." Sally said reaching for the bottle.

"No it's mine woman back off!!"

She rolled her eyes and sat back in her chair, "Chill out you can have it."

"And that's another thing, why am I so mean to you? I really *hick* like you a *hick* lot, you're very pretty smart and *hick* the first woman who ever put up with my *hick* crap. I don't think you're weak even though I say it *hick* all the time, you're the strongest woman I *hick* know."

Sally could only stare in shock, Trowa just blinked trying to determine if he had heard right or not.

"What?! Whud I *hick* say?!"

Trowa stood up, "I think I'll go call Catherine to see how she's doing." He said then hurried away.

Sally shook her head, `He didn't mean what he said he's just drunk.' She thought Wufei looked at her and started laughing. "What's so funny?" she asked.

"I like twinkies." He giggled.

"Now you're starting to act like Hilde, Wufei you'd better give me the wine."

"No Kenny it's miiiiine no Kenny it's my wine!"

Sally frowned, "Who the hell is Kenny?"

Wufei ignored her and drained the bottle, "I need s'more." He said and got up to get more liquor, Sally stopped him by blocking the balcony door.

"No you don't."

"Get outta m'way b'fore I *hick* make you." He growled.

"You don't need any more."

"Yeees I do."

"Wufei sit down I'm not letting you through."

Instead of sitting he stood right in her face and...kissed her, sliding his tongue deep in her mouth sliding it across her teeth and tongue. Then he shoved her out of the way and bolted back inside saying, "Told you I'd make you move weakling!"

Heero sat back and sighed it had been a long day and now he wanted nothing more than to sleep, he laid back in his bed and closed his eyes...only to be immediately by his laabtop. It was beeping meaningsomeone was trying to call him. He sat up with a growl walked over to his computer and turned on the communicator. 

"Yes." He said in an aggravated voice.

"Mr. Yuy I'm sorry to disturb you sir but we have spotted a large number of mobile suit headed this way I think it's the second wave of Microft's attack." Said David on of Howard's many subordinates from the hangar.

"Damn I knew he would come back. Around how many suits are there?"

"I'd say about seven hundred or more."

"Call all the other pilots including Dorothy tell them to hurry and meet me in the hangar." With that he cut the link and ran for the door.

"What time is it?" Duo asked.

"Two minutes after the last time you asked me that." Replied Hilde.

"Couldn't we just call it a night and look for her in the morning?"

"No we can't, no telling what she's doing in my body right now."

"Aww but I'm hungry!"

"You just ate a few hours ago!"

"But I'm still hungry! And I'm tired!"

"Duo zip it!!!!"

"There you are!" said a voice from behind them, they turned to find Dorothy standing their with a worried look on her face, "You guys we've got trouble..."

"Tell me about it I lost Relena." Growled Hilde.

"You what?!" 

"She lost Relena and we've been spendin' the past few hours looking for her." said Duo.

"Great just great et me just add that to the list of thing's that've gone wrong in the past hour!"

"What do you mean?" Hilde asked.

"Microft has started a second attack with more suits than the first and of the nine real pilots we do have three aren't in the right body one is missing, one is drunk , one is injured, and one is too worried about his girlfriend to even walk!!!"

"Oh boy we're in trouble." Muttered Duo, "Look guys why don't we just turn ourselves in this is getting serious."

"No it's too late for that Heero would kill us all if he knew we knew." Hilde said to Duo.

"Knew what?" questioned Dorothy.

"Oh nothing." The guilty party said in unison.

Dorothy shrugged, "Whatever Duo we need you down at the hangar, Hilde keep looking for Relena."

Hilde nodded and took off around the corner Duo and Dorothy headed to the hangar.

Heero grabbed his head in frustration, "What do you mean you can't find him he was just here!!" he shouted at Howard.

"Hey Heero don't go gettin mad at me I'm not responsible for him."

"Great now Hilde AND Wufei are missing." He muttered to himself, Dorothy overheard this and gasped, Heero turned around and was relived to see too see the other pilots. "Guys suit up we need to leave now this time we'll have backup but even so this is going to be hard. I hate to throw away all that Relena's worked for but this has to be done...right." Duo and Dorothy both nodded.

"You guys better move your asses if you want to stop the enemy before they reach the front gate." Said Howard.

Without a word Heero turned to Wing Zero and Duo and Dorothy headed for the Deathscythe, "And just where do you think you are going?" asked Dorothy.

"To my Gund... Oh yeah." Duo pouted and sadly walked over to the white Tarus suit he was to pilot.

Wufei was walking...correction stumbling through the halls going nowhere in particular, after the disappointment of raiding the kitchen and finding no alcoholic substance he went to his room for some snacks out of his suitcase and decided to go for a `walk'. He had been dragged to the hangar to pilot his gundam but he didn't feel like piloting, so he just walked away. After a minute or two of stumbling down the hall he spotted people running in and out of the banquet hall so he stepped in to see what was up. Inside the floor was covered with a sheet of thick plastic with paint stains all over it and all the furniture had been moved. Instead their were ladders that lead up to the ceiling, Wufei was about to look up and see what they were painting but was stopped by a familiar voice.

"Wolfie how are ya my boy?"

Wufei turned to see `Hilde' standing behind him, "Hil*hick*de?"

"No silly my name is Donna Tate."

Wufei shrugged, "K Donna *hick* whas up?"

Relena pointed up, Wufei looked up at the ceiling and snorted, "What th' *hick* hell is that supposed to be?"

"Come here." Relena said as she led her friend to a work bench in a secluded corner on the bench were papers with sketches of something on them, Wufei couldn't tell what because they were partially rolled up. Relena sorted through them until she found one with color on it. She unrolled the paper and handed it to Wufei.

"This is what it's gonna look like when were done."

His eyes shot open and he looked up at the roof, "You're really gonna *hick* put this up there?"

"Yes my team has been working nonstop, we have to have it done by tomorrow for a party ya know. I drew those sketches myself. You like?"

"Yeah they're great I *hick* never knew you were a *hick* artist."

"Me either."

For a while they just watched the painters paint, until Wufei said, "Wanna see somethin *hick* cool?"

"Sure." Relena said and watched him pull something long and tan out of his shorts, "Oooooo that's the biggest one I've ever seen!"

Wufei smirked, "How many have you seen? Hanging round *hick* a place like this I *hick* wouldn't think you'd have seen many of these."

"Please I use to be addicted!" she looked at it again and licked her lips, "May I?"

"Go ahead." 

Relena grabbed it and although it took a moment she finally got the white cream she desired so to come running out on her hand, she happily retracted her hand and licked the thick white cream off, 

"Mmmmm good."

"I know." Wufei said as he ate what remained of his twinkie, "I *hick* love these!"

Chapter 7: An Unexpected Victory

Dorothy wiped her brow as she watched yet another MS blow up they had been fighting for hours and it seemed to be getting them nowhere. Even with Heero using the Zero system they were still struggling, the whole thing seemed futile she was slowly loosing all hope of coming out of the battle alive. Suddenly the sky grew black as something large blocked the moonlight Dorothy looked up and squinted to find that it want one large object but a mass off little ones. 

A moment after she spotted the UFO she heard Quatre yell, "It's Rasid and the Maganac"s!"

"He make them sound like a rock band." Snorted Dorothy to herself.

The Maganac's swept in and with help from the Gundams and completely eliminated the opposition in less time than it takes to nuke a potato. Dorothy thought the whole thing was dull she used to love war but now that she was an actual soldier faced with her own mortality she found it less appealing. Now she just wanted to return to the Sanc and forget about war as long as she could.

When the battle was over and the hero's returned from was victorious they were in high spirits, they had won the war without any casualties and no injuries, but they were exhausted. Zech's had the servants show the Maganac's to the many spare rooms in his palace. After they had been tended to he disappeared as well to, he said it was because he wanted a long bath but they all know he was going to see Noin. Duo had disappeared long before the Maganac's to avoid Quatre, Trowa and Heero had gone to there rooms to sleep and now only Dorothy remained in the large cold hangar with the mechanics that were working the night shift repairing minor damages to the Gundams. She yawned and decided that maybe she better turn in as well, she thought about Relena and decided to look for her tomorrow. `Tomorrow' Dorothy thought `the day this whole nightmare ends.'

Duo was walking quietly through the garden along the side of the North Wing looking for Hilde, he called and called but no one answered. He was about to give up when he tripped over a heap of something in his path he got up cursing the object only to find it was Hilde. She had curled up in a ball in the middle of the tulips and fallen asleep. Duo smiled picked her up and carried her to her room without waking her, once he lay her down her found himself incredibly sleepy. He dreaded going back to his room for fear that Quatre would find him and rip another hole in his body for sharing a room with Dorothy so with a sigh he plopped down next to Hilde and fell fast asleep. 

Chapter 8: Can We Say Screwed (Day 5)

Duo awoke with a jump he had thought he heard someone scream, his eyes hadn't focused in the light but as soon as they did he found himself looking at a VERY shocked Quatre and Heero. Duo looked down at himself and realized he had shed a few articles of clothing during the night since he had forgotten he was now a girl making him partially naked and Hilde had shed quite articles herself and to some who didn't know better it looked like...

"Oh darn." He whimpered.

"You bitch." Growled Heero.

"Oh hey guys it's not what it looks like!"

Quatre's eyes watered, "Dorothy how COULD you?!!"

"Quatre look I swear I didn't..." his voice trailed off when he noticed Heero reach behind his back for something and Duo had a good idea what it was. He ducked just in time to dodge the first bullet the second broke the lamp on the nightstand and woke Hilde. Duo left the explaining to Hilde as he grabbed a shirt off the floor and made a quick escape out the window and ran like all hell was after him, and it was.

Wufei and Relena were sitting next to each other on the steps of the stage that was in the banquet hall. Sadly Wufei was still drunk after a few hours of watching paint dry (literally) he fell asleep and woke up at about 6 am with a serious hangover. For some reason Relena convinced him that drinking more liquor would stop the pain well it did...sort of. The two had been up since early morning getting high on twinkies and drunk on gen and tonic, Relena had retrieved from the private stash in her room, and (in Wufei's case) puking every once in a while. Now Relena was still suffering from the Zero system and on top of it all was drunk and high on twinkies she was a jittery mess to hyped to move because she wanted to run everywhere at once. Wufei just felt sick in a weird kind of way.

A man in paint stained overalls walked over to them an said, "Well we're done whaddaya think?" 

Relena and Wufei looked up at the same time, Relena gave a shaky thumbs up and Wufei hunched over and threw up on the floor which was, to there good fortune, still covered with plastic. 

"Sorry *hick* but that's enough to *hick* make anyone puke."

Relena looked up again "IIIII dddddon't knnnnow it lllooookss goooood ttooooo mmmmee."

"Looks *hick* good but the *hick* thought of them is just *hick* disturbing."

"You should leave we have to put everything back in place so the decorators can come in and set up we're really behind schedule and the party starts in a few hours."

"Kkkkkkkk."

"That's *hick* cool."

The two got up and left the room and walked arm and arm down the hall until they were met by Zechs pushing Noin in her wheelchair.

Upon seeing her trusted friend Relena ran to her screaming, "Kiki Qqqqueen of the Fffairy Mmushroom Pppppeople! Youuuur ssssafe!" 

Wufei followed suit and joined Relena in giving Noin a big bear hug causing her to yelp in pain, Zechs had to pry the two nutjobs off his sort-of-girlfriend.

"What the hell is wrong with you Wufei I thought you were more sane than this?!" 

Wufei's only reply was to barf on the rug.

"And Hilde who let you out of your jacket?!" Zechs snapped.

Relena didn't reply she just grabbed Wufei's arm and took off running down the hall.

Zechs would have chased after her but he saw Noin was in a lot of pain, "Are you alright?"

Noin looked up at him through glazed eyes and nodded, between the painkillers and her sleepiness she wasn't all there. Zechs continued to push her down the hall and as he walked he felt something small in his pocket poking his hip. `Today I have to ask her today or...when she is coherent enough to speak.' 

He thought to himself remembering the engagement ring in his pocket.

Relena had dragged Wufei in her bedroom and convinced him to play dress up with her, which is how he found himself in a pink tutu with mouse ears and a tail. Relena was in front of him lacing up his ballerina shoes for him.

"Hey *hick* Relena are you sure pink is my *hick* color?"

"Oh yeah definitely!" said Relena without her stutter, the Zero system's affects had worn off but she still had to deal with the sugar rush and liquor overdose. Now the only proof she was high on sugar and slightly drunk was the constant twitching if her hands, her dilated pupils and the fact her eyes were wiggling just slightly.

"Really I always *hick* thought purple was *hick* my color."

"Nope pink is it...done!" she said triumphantly as she stood examining his shoes, "That looks great!"

Wufei turned and examined himself in the mirror, "Wow *hick* pink IS me *hick*!"

"Yeah now hold on let me get dressed." Relena said as she skipped into the bathroom, she soon immerged wearing and identical blue tutu with rabbit ears and a fluffy tail, "How do I look?"

"You look *hick* cute."

"Thanks!" 

"Where'd you *hick* get this crap from anyways?"

"Outta Hilde's suitcase, she left it in here when she moved into my room cause we switched bodies."

"Ask a stupid *hick* question..." 

"Ooooo look what I found." Said Relena holding and inflatable baseball bat in her hands, on it were bright red letters that read AMERICAN ALL-STARS. 

She got an odd look in her eyes and began to sing, "Little Peter Cottontail hoppin through the forest..."

Wufei knew the rest of the song and took off running out into the hall but it didn't do any good. Relena was fast and was soon behind him singing her song while clobbering him painfully hard with her bat, conveniently leaving out the part about the Good Fairy. 

Sally was out in the garden with Trowa and `Duo' eating breakfast, and pondering what had happened the night before. Trowa was looking at the sky wondering what Catherine was doing, and Dorothy was trying to figure out why their bodies hadn't been switched back to normal yet. She had considered coming clean about the whole thing but figured if Quatre knew he had made passes at Duo he'd die of embarrassment. As if an cue Quatre came running up to them with tears in his eyes.

"Quatre what's wrong?" asked Sally.

Quatre took a seat by Trowa and let his head fall on the table with a loud *THUD*, "Dorothy has found another love." He sobbed.

Dorothy nearly choked on her toast, "WHAT?! WHO?!!"

"Relena, Heero and I caught them in bed together *sniff* half naked."

Dorothy immediately jumped up, "That son of a bitch I'll KILL him!"

"Not him," corrected Quatre corrected, "her *sniff*."

"Maybe they didn't sleep together, maybe it was just a misunderstanding." Suggested Trowa.

"No it wasn't Dorothy was topless and under *choke* *sob* the sheets with Relena."

Dorothy was about to hound down Duo when the guilty person ran past with a trigger happy gundam pilot on his heals, Duo spotted Dorothy and dove behind her for cover gasping for air.

Heero slid to a stop and pointed his gun at Dorothy's head, "Move." He said in an emotionless voice.

"Mr Yuy please put that down and we can talk about this like responsible adults."

"Mr Yuy?" echoed Sally.

The dispute would have gone further but the group was distracted by the sight of Wufei and `Hilde' running past in their little getups, even Heero had stare. 

"Somebody *pant* tell me I wasn't *pant* the only one who *gasp* saw that." Gasped Duo.

"You weren't the only one who saw that." Said Trowa.

"Damn I wish I had my camera." Said Sally.

"Hey what are you all doing!" They turned to find Zechs was the owner of the voice, "We have a party to host in less than an hour and you all are out here playing tag!" he scolded.

Sally stood and lowered Heero's gun, but he didn't notice he was still looking off in the direction `Hilde' and Wufei had run off in, "You're right Zechs come on guys let's take this up latter...and Dorothy put on some decent clothes." She said.

Duo looked down at himself and realized the shirt he was in was Relena's and 3 sizes too small leaving nothing to the imagination. In his haste to get away for Heero he failed to realize the tightness of the shirt, and boy was it tight. Dorothy shot him a murderous glance as Zechs and Sally dragged her and the others, minus Duo, back into the palace to get ready to great the guest. 

20 minutes after we find Wufei and Relena sitting on the chandelier in the dining room still in their tutu's singing `No One Knows the Troubles I've Seen' in honor of Relena's deflated bat. They picked that song because they were too high on sugar and drunk to think of something better. As they finished the last verse Zechs and the gang came in including a now properly dressed Hilde and Duo entered the room.

"OK," said Zechs from below, "We have to be a presentable group this morning, now I know you all are having some problems amongst yourselves but let's set them aside and be civil and not start any wars with the leaders of any colonies." He aimed that last part at `Relena'. "The guests should be arriving soon so lets get ready."

Everyone except Dorothy, Sally, Duo, Noin, and Heero left, they had noticed the two nutballs sitting on the chandelier and felt the sight was worth a stare.

"What ARE you two doing up their?" asked Dorothy.

"Nothin whatcha doin down their?" Asked Relena.

"Hey how'd you guys like Donna's paintin'?" asked Wufei.

"Who's Donna and what painting?" asked Dorothy.

"That would be me," Said Relena, "and the painting in the banquet hall."

Duo turned to the others, "I'll go see what she's talking about." He said and walked across the hall into the room in question where Zechs and the others were discussing what would be happening where during the party. He looked around the room for a painting but saw nothing, "Just as I thought." He sighed and then stretched out tilting his head back, then he saw IT and his eyes nearly popped out of his head. IT was as large as life up on the ceiling in full color, IT was a painting of Heero and Noin together naked in bed having hot wild monkey sex. Duo stood straight up and looked around no one had noticed IT the ceiling was large but it was high enough not to be noticed unless you actually looked up. He dashed back into the dining room praying no one looked up. He slid in and looked at Noin then at Heero then back to Noin then at Sally, he walked over to her and pulled her away from the others.

"What's the problem?" she asked.

"I'm going to tell you so you can tell them," he pointed to Heero and Noin, "cause I don't have the guts to do it."

"What is it? What did you see?"

Wufei watched as `Dorothy' whispered something into Sally's ear, and then watched as she passed out on the floor, "Oh my God she killed Kenny!!" he screeched.

"You bastard!!" chimed Relena.

"What happened?" asked Noin.

"I think it's best you see for yourself, go into the banquet hall and look up but don't scream or look up all at once because the others will see it too."

Heero nodded and turned to leave Dorothy got hold of Noin's wheelchair and pushed her out, Duo waited for them to return, the fist one back was Dorothy and Noin who looked like they had been shot then came Heero he was shaking like a frightened kitten.

Noin and Dorothy: o.O 

"Aw crap Zechs is going to KILL me!!" cried Heero.

"You don't like my design?" asked Relena from her perch.

Heero growled climbed on a chair and attempted to grab her but she was just out of his reach, Duo knelt next to Sally, "I guess I shouldn't have been so descriptive." He said as he shook her awake.

She groaned and sat up, "I need an Asprin." 

N/D: O.o

"I am so dead." Sniffeled Heero.

"Shit I'm outta twinkies!" snapped Wufei.

"Noooooooooooo!!" screamed Relena.

N/D: o.O

"Don't worry Heero if Zechs saw it I doubt he would believe you two actually did it."

"YOU KNEW ABOUT IT??!!" yelled Heero.

"THEY DID THAT??!!" yelled Sally.

Duo winced, "Uh I just took a guess."

N/D: O.o

"Relena told you didn't she?!" snapped Heero.

"No! No sbdmhjb told me."

"WHO?"

"Hkdfjdkl now let's not linger on this and figure out how we can keep our guest eyes off the ceiling, considering the press will be their as well."

N/D: O.O 

Just then Zechs stepped in, "What are you all still doing in here we they guests are starting to arrive." He said then disappeared.

Sally Heero and Duo flew out the door to try and stall for time to form a plan and Noin and Dorothy just stared on in disbelief.

Hilde greeted each of the guests as they entered the room and was feeling proud of her performance when Duo tapped her on the shoulder.

"What do you want I'm kind of busy right now."

"Come here we have an emergency." He whispered.

She excused herself from the greetings and was replaced by Zechs as Duo pulled her over to an unoccupied corner.

"Now what is so important?" she asked.

"Look up quickly."

"What?"

"Just do it."

Hide took a quick glance at the ceiling the back as Duo then her eyes widened and she looked up again.

"Don't stare or people will notice." Duo whispered.

She slowly lowered her head and took a deep breath, "Who put that up?" 

"Relena, I think she had a little talk with the painters."

"Holy crap we're screwed."

"No we're not all we have to do is keep people from looking up."

"That's true, that's all we have to do, that's all we have to, that's all we have to do..." Hide kept chanting that comforting phrase as Duo trotted over to where Heero Dorothy aand Noin were sitting staring into space Noin and Heero looking deathly pale.

"Common you guys just two hours and then we're good to go."

"..." said Noin.

"Look I already called the painters and their coming in right after the party to cover it up."

"..." said Heero.

"K fine be that way." Said Duo as he walked off to sit by Sally.

Without warning the lights dimmed and a spotlight was shone on the center of the stage, the whole room went silent in anticipation of what was going to happen, Hilde looked over a Zechs who shrugged, Duo frowned and Sally gasped, "Where are Wufei and Hilde?"

Before anyone could answer a young tutu wearing Chinese boy leapt into the middle of the light, followed by his partner in crime Relena aka Hilde wearing a set of bongo drums around her neck. 

"Hello," he began, "I am Curtis *hick* King of the Nose *hick* Goblins and I would like *hick* to recite a poem *hick* called Twinkies."

The room was silent except for the sound of cameras flashing everyone was to shocked to move, they even had Dorothy, Noin and, Heero's attention, Wufei stuck a dance pose and Relena began to rhythmically beat the bongos. As he recited the poem he danced gracefully around the stage.

"The *hick* light in my *hick* darkness, The hair on my *hick* head, The key in my hole, *hick*... Twinkies. The cookie in my jar, The love of my *hick* life, The zipper on my pants *hick*...Twinkies. It's sweet taste I *hick* can't resist, It's like a drug I'm a*hick*ddicted and now they're gone *sniff*. The love I had is *sniffle* gone and...and...Oh I can't go on!" He yelled as he broke down crying on the stage. 

Relena rushed to his side, "It's OK I loved them too I know how you feel." She said then turned to the audience, "Sorry folks we'll have to cut this short he's still hurting." With that she escorted Wufei off stage. 

The room remained motionless for a few minutes until Sally burst out laughing, causing the rest of the room to lighten up and laugh along. Zechs notified security to find the two and put them in restraints then got up on stage to introduce Relena. While Duo just watched Sally laugh until she was on the floor a twitching like a wounded wilderbeast, Hilde took the stage and gave her written speech curtsey of Zechs. Afterwards she spent the rest of the party dancing eating and talking to old politicians as for the others Sally was buying a copy of one reporters filming of `The Poem'. Duo was eating (duh), and Heero Noin and Dorothy were back their staring state although the did eat a little food while Quatre tried to find out was wrong with them. It was about time to break things up and Duo was sitting next to Hilde in front of the stage eating a piece of cake when Relena appeared out of behind them. 

"Good evening everyone I c'n only talk for a moment cause security's after me but I just wanted to know if anyone liked my painting?" 

"Painting?" asked a random politician. 

Before Duo or Hilde could move she blurted out, "The one on the ceiling!"

Noin Heero and Dorothy simultaneously choked on the food they were eating, cameras flashed and jaws dropped. 

Soon every eye in the room was on Heero he didn't like this AT ALL so he diverted their attention in the only way he could think of, "Oh yeah you think that's bad Dorothy and Relena are sleeping together!!"

Dorothy tried to strangle him and he tried to figure out why, Sally instructed security to evacuate the party, and Hilde sank down in her chair and tried to hide her face behind her glass. Heero finally slipped out of Dorothy's grasp and made a dash for the door when her ran into something big and hard, he fell to the floor and looked up, to see a VERY ANGRY Zechs'.

"Oh shit." Was all he was able to mutter before he was beaten into a bloody pulp.

Chapter 9: The End of the Chaos...I Think

After they had gotten Heero in an ambulance Duo Hilde and Dorothy had met in the library to have a private meating.

"I don't get it why aren't we back in our normal bodies?!" complained Dorothy.

"I think it has something to do with the time." Said Duo.

"What?"

"Well I think we will turn back to normal at the exact same time we switched bodies." He explained.

"Good theory but what time did we witch bodies?" asked Hilde.

"It was some time after twelve I guess." He said.

"Well it's already after twelve so that could be any second now." Said Dorothy.

"I say we say in here until it happens." 

"What about Relena?" Duo asked. 

Hilde stiffened, "Don't remind me of that baka." She growled.

"You think you've got it bad?!! The press thinks there's something between Miss Relena and I, it'll be all over the news by tonight!!"

"Don't worry Dorothy when Quatre takes you away to his mansion those rumors will just disappear." Duo immediately slapped his hand over his mouth when he realized what he had blurted out.

"Did you just say back to his mansion?"

"Me and my big mouth."

"You told him you would go home with him?!!"

"Yes." He squeaked.

"YOU IDIOT!!!!"

"What I thought you liked him?!"

"Do you have any idea what living with him means?!!!!"

"Ummm...No."

"Well let me explain the men in Quatre's family have ALWAYS proposed to their women at the Winner mansion!!!!"

"Alright...one question what dose proposed mean?"

"MARRIAGE!!!!"

"Oh, Whoops."

"What do you mean `Whoops'?!!"

"I'm sorry OK."

"No it's not OK!!"

"Well what do you want from me I made a mistake so sue me!"

"Maxwell you are the biggest ass I have ever met!!"

"I'd rather be an ass than you!!"

Hilde jumped up and put herself between the charging Dorothy and the scowling Duo, "Now remember Dorothy that's your body!"

Dorothy stopped and thought for a moment and then smiled, "You're absolutely right." She turned around and slammed her head into the wall leaving a large bruise on her head.

"Oh yeah two can play that game!" shouted Duo as he punched himself in the mouth over and over.

Dorothy picked up a chair ripped off one of the legs and began to beat her legs with it, Duo ceased hitting himself and began to slam his shoulder into a bookshelf in an attempt to dislocate it. Hilde tried to make them stop but they were intent on beating the life out of themselves on the up side she got to see the expression of pure shock on Trowa's face when he stepped in and quietly backed out. Dorothy ran and threw herself out the window and rolled aroung in the glass, remembering making Duo suffer was all worth wile. 

Just at Duo was making a belly dive off of the top of the 10ft high book shelf it happened, their was a bright flash, a scream as Dorothy hit the floor, and a squeal of pain as Duo clutched his bruised and broken legs. 

Relena looked around in confusion, "What happened?"

In a padded room not to far away, Hilde fell over trying to figure out why her eyes wouldn't stop wiggling and why she was in a straight jacket...and why she couldn't get the Barbie song out of her head.

A week from that fateful day we find our group at the palace saying their good-byes, Zechs had forgiven Heero, well not really he just promised to stop putting laxatives in his soup. Noin was able to walk with the help of a crutch and despite the incident in the banquet hall she had an engagement ring on her finger. Heero wasn't as lucky as Noin, he was still in a wheelchair but on the upside he had started eating solids again the day before. Wufei was sulking off to the side of the group he was endlessly embarrassed by what had happened to him but refused to show it instead he became even more anti-social and hoped to forget the whole incident but he knew Sally would NEVER let him forget. Relena on the other hand had forgotten everything past what happened on the battle field and no one had the heart to tell her. Dorothy was now content to return with Quatre to the desert even if it mean he would propose, she would do 

ANYTHING to end the rumors about her and Relena. Things between her and Duo had cleared up after sharing a hospital room with him the two got to talking and both apologized for their actions. As for Duo he was burdened with the task of taking care of Hilde who was still a little nutty. Trowa loved all of his friend but thought they were all crazy.

"Well good-bye you guys." Said Noin as everyone except Relena and Zechs got in their cars and prepared to leave.

"Bye!" said Sally.

"See ya!" shouted Duo.

"..." said Trowa.

"..." repeated Heero

Dorothy Quatre and the Maganac's waved goodbye from there cars.

Duo nudged Hilde, "Hey babe say good-bye." he said as the walked away.

Hilde was off in her own world, "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world life in plastic it's fantastic..."

"Hilde!"

"Oh, Goodbye!" she called over her shoulder.

Relena sighed as she watched her friends leave, "I wonder if they would want to try that again sometime it was fun." She said to herself. 

THE END

BY

MILO AND OATIS


End file.
